Nobody with kids gets the extra hour

Every year somebody gets excited about the extra hour. "Clocks fall back! Free sleep!" And every year I nod along like that is going to apply to me.

It is not going to apply to me.

Daylight saving time ends at 2 a.m. on Sunday, November 1. If you don't have kids, you wake up, check your phone, and it says you're an hour early. Bonus hour. Roll over.

If you do have kids, your 5:30 kid is now a 4:30 kid, and nobody can explain why. Their body doesn't know what a clock is. Their body knows it's morning.

I live in a creaky old house, so I can hear them coming. On top of that I've been conditioned like Pavlov's dog. My body wakes up literally right as they're walking down the hall. By the time they hit my door, I'm already up.

The clock moves. The kid doesn't. Same wake up, new number on the microwave. Bedtime gets weird from the other side too. Seven on the new clock feels like eight to them, so teeth and pajamas turn into a mess.

What we're doing this year

Start about a week early. The American Academy of Pediatrics says nudge bedtime a little later each day leading up to the change. So around October 25, we slide bedtime 10 to 15 minutes later every day or two. By November 1, they're basically already there.

Move dinner with it, or you get a hungry kid at 8:30 asking for "just a snack."

And if you've got a little one who treats sunrise like a starting gun, a toddler wake clock that changes color when it's okay to get up gives them something to check before they come check on you.

I'm not getting the extra hour. Somewhere a guy with no kids is going back to sleep with a big smile. Good for him.

I'll be in the kitchen at 5:15 pouring cereal for someone who's very confused about why it's still dark outside.

(It's because it's 5:15, buddy.)